When it rains, it pours

A typical Saturday at the ol' sorority house I wake up all bright-eyed and bushy-tailed and ready to take on what the world (aka the sorority house) has to throw at me.  I might check my email, tidy up a bit, and walk next door to pour a glass of Dole Orange-Pineapple-Banana juice (which is uber delicious, btw).  I'll give the downstairs a quick once-over; you know, make sure the downstairs bathroom isn't flooding, check the banister to ensure that it's still intact after the most recent girl's attempt to slide down, scan the TV room floor for smashed up Goldfish crackers, turn the TV off from it's blaring re-runs of Jersey Shore, you know, the usual stuff.  This past Saturday I didn't because...A) we don't buy groceries during January so there is no delicious juice and B) I was busy making our to-do list for the day.  This simple decision could have saved me a heart attack later in the day. 

House Dad and I run our errands...mall, bank, Petsmart (because House Dog can plow through a 35 pound bag of food in a month and goes through poo bags even faster), and grocery store.  We get home and go straight to the kitchen so I can test out a new tuna salad recipe (because a Better Homes and Gardens recipe is guaranteed to be a success).  *cue ominous music* *cue slow motion camera*  I enter the kitchen from the TV room and see a towering trash can waiting to greet my unsuspecting face.  Something to my right catches my eye....oh god, the sink!  Piles and piles of dishes are overflowing out of our industrial-depth sink. 

Nooooooooooo *stop for breath* ooooooooooooooooo! 

I immediately run to the kitchen duty sign off sheet, Friday AM and PM did it, Saturday AM did it.  What is happening!?  Did we feed an army sometime around lunch?  Did the people that signed off really do it?  So many questions!  I can feel my blood pressure rising because I know it's happening again.  *more ominous music* THE SORORITY KITCHEN CURSE  I noticed it when we first moved in, but didn't really understand the gravity of it.  It seems that whenever one person does their kitchen duty early one night, say around 5 or 6pm, the girl assigned to the next morning doesn't do it, and then the girl assigned to the evening doesn't do it, and then the next morning doesn't do it and neither does the next evening.  Meanwhile there are no clean pots or pans, no clean knives (Not that you really need them.  They are so dull they can barely cut warm butter.  No joke!) and no clean cooking utensils and the trash can is trying to imitate the Leaning Tower of Pisa.  (Btw - for those of you unfamiliar with our kitchen, we have a 32 gallon trash can.  The kind that a normal family uses and takes a week to fill up.  And when I say towering, I mean the trash is a solid 1 1/2 - 2 feet above the rim.)  So I try some deep breathing to calm down and hope that my good karma will break the curse and Saturday PM will do her kitchen duty. 

Fast forward to Saturday evening around 8:30, dinner time and I have another new recipe from BH&G!  My excitement immediately fizzles when I see the state of the kitchen hasn't changed.  *sigh*  Now not only do I have to cook dinner, but first I have to wash the dishes that I'll use to cook it.  I'm still hopeful that Saturday PM will do it later on in the night, maybe midnight or so.  Once again I'm holding out for my good karma to save me.  Aaannnndddd......this is why I'm not big on gambling.  Oh yeah, you guessed it, Saturday PM didn't do it either.  I made it a point to visit the kitchen on Sunday morning and wasn't even surprised.  I knew the Curse had won again. 

In summary, I have gained much wisdom in my short time as House Mom.  I have learned that one cannot escape The Sorority Kitchen Curse; instead, one can only hope the Curse is short-lived and does not interfere with one's personal cooking agenda.